I’ve just discovered my new favorite mom blog, Ho Mama! There’s only one post, but it’s a doozy and a poignant, hilarious reminder that there are a lot of different moms out there and most of them aren’t arguing over plastic vs. wooden ride-on toys.
Never fear, though. Slutty, single, low-income moms are nothing if not resourceful. I brought my premature baby (all five pounds of her) home from the hospital to an SRO hotel in the Tenderloin.
My daughter didn’t come home to a crib or a nursery. But you know what? She didn’t seem to notice. Perhaps cribs and nurseries are more for parents than for babies. Hmmmmmm.
Anyway, I did manage to find some cardboard cut-outs of Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet to tape to the walls. But my daughter was much more fascinated by my face and voice than by any baby toys or cutesy decorations.
Feeding her was cheap and easy. My breasts pumped out a steady supply of milk. Feeding myself was a bit trickier. It’s quite a hike from the Tenderloin to Whole Foods, especially with a baby strapped to your chest. But we managed.
This is just a smidgen of the Ho Mama! wisdom. Other highlights include: being kicked out of her apartment while pregnant, multiple marriages not in conjunction with the getting knocked up and homelessness! Good times.